Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Gosh, another post so soon I hear you say!  What on earth is happening?  A little insomnia is happening which made me think it may be a good time to write.  You know how it goes.. the great plan to help the you are getting sleepy thing!  Put all the stuff bouncing around in your mind down on paper... ok well on keyboard ... and then you can let it go.  By the way, what is it with that anyway?  The lie down to go to sleep and all of a sudden you have 101 things to think about... sheesh!

Speaking of by the way stuff, I noticed that there were 45 people who took a peek at this page and perhaps even read my last blog post 3 days ago.  I have to say that was a BIG and lovely surprise. So thank you to anyone out there who took a little time out of their day to read my ramblings!

I thought I'd give you the funny background part of how I came to meet this man who has arrived in my life.  His daughter has been a friend of mine for around 10-12 years.  We originally met in an online forum and then met in person a year or two later.  

Actually, our meeting in person was with a bunch of women from that forum who had decided that spending a weekend together would be a fun idea.  So there were 13 of us who gathered at one woman's place on the Mornington Peninsula, from Friday through to Sunday!  And oh, what a wonderful get together it was.

As it turns out, I hadn't seen my young friend again in the time since our first get together, however, we had kept in touch via social media/emails/etc.  She was aware that I'd done a 6 week stint up here (in what is my new city) and was going to be moving up here.  

While I was back home we had a facebook conversation along the lines of... 'I think I should introduce you to my Dad.  You two would probably get along well.  Just think, if you end up married, you could be my step mum... and you would have 10 children between you!  And you could have all our mutual friends attend, all of us girls could be bridesmaids (the ones from the original get together) and we could wear purple and our kids could be flowergirls and.... by this time I was almost choking!  With laughter. And thinking, oh my goddess, she is surely kidding!  So I treated it as the joke I thought it was.

Only it seems she wasn't quite kidding.  And a few weeks down the track, I had another message from her.  Actually.. I've told my Dad alllll about you and he'd like to meet you.  For real.  Of course my reaction was along the lines of what tha?  So next thing phone numbers are exchanged and I get a phone call from her Dad.  He seems nice enough.  I agree to go on a date.  She helps him arrange tickets to go to a dinner and Black Sorrows concert up here.

We met near a gelato place down by the water about an hour before the concert, so we had time to get the initial meet and greet and hopefully the awkward stuff out of the way first.  He was quite a gentleman and we had an enjoyable night.  He dropped me home again and we agreed to meet for breakfast the next morning before he headed off back down to where he lives (3.5 hrs drive south).

All of that went reasonably well, we seemed to be able to talk easily enough and so it was decided to meet again.  I was quite adamant and vocal about how I didn't want another relationship, not now and maybe not ever.  I was more than happy to have a new friend in my life and have some companionship from time to time.. especially living in a new town, it would be great to have a friend I could spend time with occasionally, perhaps share a meal with or go to a movie or concert with.  

But I definitely did not want a full on relationship in any shape or form as I did not have time for one of those and just wasn't interested! Not at all. Oh and while I had a little extra time now for going on the occasional date because it was the end of the year and everything slowed down, once the new year arrived, I wouldn't have the luxury of having that time available to be doing things like dating and all.  

And that is how our courtship (isn't that a cute old fashioned word?) started. Famous last words eh... I don't want... I'm not interested in... never ever or no time soon... I don't have time... it's like the universe just laughs when you utter those words and thinks, I'll show you what that looks like!  

So yes, it's been challenging.  And yes, it's been one of the hardest things ever. I was just not in that space at all.  I had plans.  Things I wanted to do.  Things that definitely did not include a relationship or the complications one can bring. I did not want to be tied down.  I wanted the freedom to make decisions on my own that suited me without having to consider anyone else in the equation.  My children are all adults now and for the first time since they were born, I have the time to follow my dreams.  And I did not want or need a relationship getting in the way of that!

Needless to say, those plans have either been put on hold to some degree or have had some adjustments while I explore this thing we have going.  In the meantime, I'm hanging on for the ride and seeing if I can keep up!  I'm afraid I'm not always doing a good job of the keeping up part and I've found it a real stretch to get my head around this whole relationship thing.  Which probably sounds silly to some of you.  Especially those of you who may be ready and wanting a relationship.  And maybe even a little selfish.  But it's the space I was/am in for a variety of reasons.

All that said, he is a good man and is caring and funny and romantic and can be ever so serious. He is also a practical joker and is like a big kid at times.  He has hidden behind curtains, in a cupboard and under a bed.  He has surprised me by having flowers delivered to my workplace, for the first time ever!  Another time he was concerned about me when I had a lot going on and booked me in for a reiki treatment one time when I went down to visit.  

So there are many good things about all of this and I find myself very conflicted at times because this relationship is so at odds with the plans and hopes and dreams I had for the next few years.  I hope I figure out how it all fits in soon! Or perhaps I need to just not worry about it and see what happens.

Well that's the end of tonight's reflective post.  If you joined for the ride, thank you!  

The pic I'm sharing this evening was taken just after dawn one morning from the top of Castle Hill in Townsville.





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